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March 23, 2009

Self Talk

While I am in this state of limbo I don’t quite know how to feel. No longer with you and having moved on to acceptance I thought… what is this unnamed feeling? Missing you? Missing us? Mostly I am ok with the idea of being on my own. I have announced to all and sundry that this state of aloneness is necessary to my well-being. I need to do this. I need NOT to rebound to the next as easy or tempting as that might be. I have to concentrate on getting to know myself, identify my wants and needs as opposed to defining myself through someone else. All this is well and good. Still this feeling persists. It’s not that I have an overwhelming need to be with someone. It’s not that I am lonely. I have friends, family, my daughter. I have a life filled with people and love. But this niggling feeling won’t go away. My rational self knows that we weren’t right together, that I rebounded way too quickly after having my heart trampled but my emotional self is sitting in a corner, sulking and refusing to believe all of that Dr Phil type crap. Hopefully this too shall pass.

9 comments:

  1. Fish not needing that bicycle. Go Bee! You have lots to give to people, and, hopefully, the right man, when he arrives. But men don't define you, you do.
    As Dr Phil would say: ya can't be a chicken if ya keep hankerin after a turkey.

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  2. Ja Scott I know all of this - still sulking. Fish, bicycle - BLAAAAH. Lalala - not listening. Love you for caring tho. Tx

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  3. I can't say I know how how you are feeling but I have done the rebound thing. I know now I should have waited. You are on the right track when you say you need to take the time, and get to know what you want and what your needs are. That is good advice I wish I had taken. Hang in there, and like you said, "this too shall pass".

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  4. You make absolute perfect sense to me... we have all been there in one way or another.

    I love you Bar-bee.

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  5. It will pass. It's the waiting that's a bastard to deal with.

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  6. Kyk: I heard waiting and bastard... hmmm synonymous? No, I will try not to bee bitter 'n twisted. Heh heh

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  7. Do what you tell yourself to do; if you're feeling alone, then be alone. If you're feeling not-alone, then be not-alone -- but make sure you know why you're feeling that way.

    Also, don't watch Dr. Phil.

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